A lonely dandelion

 I'm tired. Tired of being broken and tired of breaking myself. Why do you do it? Because it hurts even more when someone else does it. If it hurts that much you should leave. But what if... What if some day I'm sorry. What if I wake up and realise I messed it up because I didn't try hard enough. What if I miss my chance. What if no one makes me feel the way they did. You shouldn't be the only one trying. The only one hurting. Hiding it away. But if I was enough, everything would be different. If I was enough they wouldn't feel the need to replace me with other people. They wouldn't look for things I don't have. You don't get it. I just want to be good enough for someone. I want to be someone's happiness. Someone's favorite. Someone's best. You must be so tired. Sometimes it just feels like I'm too easy to let go. Like I'm nothing compared to those who came before me. Likely my flaws are so easy to spot. Like my every mi...

I met someone new. I finally felt close to happiness again. I actually forgot about you for a while. I just felt the music and moved with it, leaving my head so wonderfully empty. I screamed the lyrics on the top of my lungs and danced through the night. I felt free. I felt like I belonged in the crowd. To the music. I didn't think of you. And I felt a litttle bit of hope in someone's shy smile that kept on growing bigger. In someone's blushing cheeks I found joy. In someone's shimmering eyes I found relief. But like always when the music stops, the darkness returns. It settles in my chest and makes it hard to breathe.. I met someone new. A guy I know is crazy for me. A guy that would do anything to make it happen. A guy ready to try. But I am having a hard time giving him a chance. I do like him. He is all adorable and he has a cute smile, he's been so sweet. He believes in us. But he is not you. My friends say I should let you go. I can't. I need ...

I wish I could go back to feeling numb again. -Would you really want to be numb? No I hate it.  I can't even describe how sad I feel. But I think the numbness is coming back. I hate this so much. -It's going to be okay baby. You get used to that person not being around anymore. I really do hate love. -You don't hate love. You hate people. -And what do you do with feelings? Exactly. Nothing. Push them aside. Pretend they don't exist. It's the best. It's the easiest. Love is just a drug. And you get addicted. God, drugs are amazing once you don't have a slightest idea you're addicted.  I hate love. I just hate it so much. It hurts people. It hurts everyone. I see a woman feeling lonely next to a man she knows. Next to someone she's been married to for years. I see a man, not sure how to please her. How to make her happy. I see a mom, having a hard time loving her daughte...